Love, Peace, & Psychology

psych-comedy:

“Sex is on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Care to help me self-actualize?”

“You remind me of my mother…”

“This isn’t just any cigar.”

“Are you happy to see me, or is that just a defense mechanism?”

“When you fell from heaven, did it leave you with any lasting emotional scars?”

“Baby, do I remember you from my dreams, or is that just a false memory?”

“I’d compare you to my mother, but I don’t want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.”

“I’m a screamer, but don’t worry. The more people hear me scream, the fewer will care.”

Say, baby, when you dream, do you ever dream about waves crashing on a beach?
(Why, yes!)
The waves represent my penis. The beach represents your unconscious yearning for my penis.

“I’ll be a prisoner, you be a guard. Abuse me!”

“”You’re into threesomes? Great, ’cause I’ve got split personality.”

“Are you real, or are you a delusion? Either way, nice tits.”

“Do come lay on my couch… With me.”

“Hey babe, want me to penetrate you exactly 62 times?”

“Who’s your daddy? Do I remind you of him?”

“Why don’t I show you my giant inkblot, and you can tell me what you see?”

(via psych-facts)